OCD Is Not “Just Being Neat”: Understanding the Real-Life Impact of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
When most people hear “OCD,” they imagine someone who likes color-coded bookshelves or a spotless kitchen. Popular media often portrays obsessive-compulsive disorder as a quirky personality trait rather than a serious mental health condition. But for the millions of people who live with OCD, the reality is far from light or amusing. OCD can be deeply painful, time-consuming, and debilitating. It affects daily functioning, relationships, work, and overall quality of life.
It’s time to move beyond clichés and truly understand how OCD impacts someone’s life.
What OCD Really Is: A Cycle That Consumes Time and Emotion
OCD is characterized by two components: intrusive, repetitive, distressing thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) meant to neutralize the distress. This cycle is not voluntary, and it is rarely logical to the person experiencing it. What sets OCD apart from everyday worries or habits is the overwhelming fear, guilt, and/or sense of helplessness it creates.
A person with OCD might spend hours a day trying to prevent imagined catastrophes, avoid harm to loved ones, or eliminate the possibility of having made a mistake. Many describe feeling held hostage by their own mind.
OCD is not about “being particular.” It is about being overwhelmed for a large portion of their day.
Functional Impairment: When OCD Takes Over the Day
OCD often interferes with the ability to complete basic tasks. For some people, simply getting out the door can take an hour or more. They may repeatedly check locks, appliances, or personal belongings until the anxiety temporarily subsides. Others lose significant time performing mental rituals, such as replaying events, reviewing conversations, or mentally “undoing” a thought that triggered fear
Common examples of functional impairment include:
Work disruption. Difficulty meeting deadlines because compulsions or mental rituals eat up large portions of the day, avoiding certain tasks out of fear of making a mistake, re-reading emails repeatedly, or getting stuck on perfectionistic details.
Daily living challenges. Spending excessive time showering, grooming, cooking, cleaning, or checking items around the home. Some individuals avoid certain rooms or activities entirely to prevent triggering obsessions.
Decision paralysis. What seems like a simple choice (e.g., what to wear, which route to drive, what to eat) can lead to spirals of fear about making the “wrong” decision, resulting in significant delays or avoidance.
Sleep disturbance. Whether it is their rituals or compulsions taking a significant amount of time that delays bedtime, or their racing thoughts and anxiety keeping them up at night, individuals with OCD experience significant interruptions in their sleep. Their inconsistent sleep patterns then impact their mood (e.g., more irritability), ability to focus, and energy levels. It creates a vicious cycle that is hard to escape.
These impairments often go unnoticed by others because individuals with OCD learn to hide their rituals or reorganize their day to accommodate them. What looks like “functioning” is often happening at a great internal cost.
The Emotional Toll: Shame, Exhaustion, and Constant Fear
OCD is not just time-consuming, but emotionally exhausting as well. The content of obsessions is often tied to someone’s core values, which makes them feel even more disturbing. A parent with harm-related OCD may be terrified of being alone with their child because of intrusive thoughts about something bad happening. A partner may fear they are not truly in love, despite deeply valuing the relationship.
This creates intense shame and guilt. Many people with OCD fear that others (e.g., friends, partners, family) won’t understand the intrusive thoughts or rituals and may judge them. This fear of judgment often leads to isolation.
Emotionally, OCD can bring:
Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
Irritability from constant mental strain
Depressive symptoms, especially when rituals escalate or feel uncontrollable
Guilt for not being able to “just stop” the behaviors despite having a huge desire for not wanting engage in the compulsions
It is not uncommon for individuals with OCD to say they feel mentally exhausted long before the day even begins.
How OCD Strains Relationships
One of the least-discussed impacts of OCD is the strain it can place on relationships. Loved ones often find themselves pulled into the compulsions or rituals, a phenomenon known as accommodation. This can look like:
Reassuring the person with OCD repeatedly. (e.g., “Yes, I am sure that you are not sick,” or “You would have known if you hit someone with your car,” or “Nothing bad is going to happen to you today just because you did not do that ritual perfectly”)
Participating in rituals or safety behaviors with or for the individual with OCD. (e.g., cleaning the home together to ensure that pets do not accidentally ingest something while they are home alone, or reviewing emails or text messages together before they are sent, or cleaning items for the individual with OCD)
Avoiding certain places, people, or conversations. (e.g., avoiding certain topics in conversations, steering conversations away from feared subjects for the individual with OCD in social settings because they know it will upset them, not taking a certain route to go home)
Changing routines to minimize triggers. (e.g., not having kitchen appliances plugged into the outlets unless they are actively being used, driving for them)
Taking over responsibilities for the individual with OCD. (e.g., handling emails, paperwork, bills to prevent checking rituals, or cleaning and organizing to prevent the individual with OCD from touching certain objects)
While these behaviors come from a place of care, they inadvertently reinforce the OCD cycle. Over time, this can create resentment, frustration, or emotional distance on both sides.
In romantic relationships specifically, OCD can interfere through:
Relationship OCD (ROCD). intrusive doubts about the relationship, partner, or one’s own feelings
Reassurance-seeking. constantly checking that the relationship is “okay”
Avoidance. withdrawing physically or emotionally to prevent triggers
Guilt. partners with OCD often feel they are a burden or “too much”
It’s important to emphasize that OCD is no one’s fault. Stopping accommodation isn’t about withholding care; rather, it’s about shifting the way care is delivered. With support and treatment, relationships can become healthier and more resilient.
Debunking Myths: What OCD Is Not
To reduce stigma and misunderstandings, it is crucial to challenge the common myths about OCD:
Myth: “Everyone is a little OCD.”
Fact: Liking organization or preferring things neat is a personality trait, not a disorder.
Myth: OCD is about cleanliness.
Fact: OCD can involve countless themes: harm, relationships, sexuality, religion, morality, health, contamination, symmetry, and more.
Myth: People with OCD can just stop if they try hard enough.
Fact: OCD is maintained by neurological and cognitive patterns; willpower alone is not a treatment nor is it sufficient
There Is Hope: OCD Is Treatable
Despite how debilitating OCD can be, it is also one of the most treatable mental health conditions. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is considered the gold standard treatment for OCD, by helping individuals face fears and reduce compulsive behaviors over time. With evidence-based therapy, many people regain freedom and control over their lives.
If you or someone you love is struggling with OCD, know this: you are not alone, and help is available at Manas Cor Psychological Services. OCD is not a personality quirk. OCD is a real condition, deserving of real care and understanding.
If you’re interested in learning more about therapy for OCD, we offer Exposure Response
Prevention treatment tailored to your needs. You can schedule a consultation or ask questions by sending Dr. Hyejin Jin an email at hjin@manascorpsych.com.
Understand OCD & How Therapy in Washington, DC Can Help
Living with constant intrusive thoughts, rituals, and anxiety can be exhausting, and it can quietly shrink your world over time. Wanting relief doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human. OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of support. Individual therapy and ERP can help you break free from the cycle of obsessions and compulsions and regain a sense of choice, confidence, and calm. Follow the steps below to get started:
Reach out to us here to learn more about counseling for OCD in Washington, DC.
Explore our blogs for additional insights into OCD, ERP, and more.
You deserve support that understands OCD for what it truly is, and care that helps you reclaim your life.
Other Mental Health Services We Offer in DC
In addition to individual therapy for holiday stress, we also provide psychological testing and assessment, and group therapy for adolescents and adults. Whether you're navigating anxiety, depression, life transitions, relationship challenges, or the lingering effects of past experiences, therapy offers a supportive space to process, reflect, and grow, both one-on-one and in community with others.
About the Author: OCD Therapist
Dr. Hyejin Jin is a licensed psychologist and cognitive behavioral therapist with extensive experience treating Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), mood and anxiety disorders, trauma, and body-focused repetitive behaviors. With a background from the University of Southern Mississippi and the University of Washington, Dr. Jin integrates evidence-based approaches like CBT, ERP, and DBT to help clients build resilience and create meaningful change.
For nearly a decade, she has also taught DBT skills in both individual and group settings and is passionate about providing gender-affirming, inclusive care for LGBTIQA+ individuals. Dr. Jin is conversationally fluent in Korean and values creating a therapeutic space that is culturally sensitive, compassionate, and collaborative.
Outside of Manas Cor Psych, she enjoys cooking, watching sitcoms, and spending time with her dog.
